I want to share to you something that I never share, that I hardly ever talk about, but it is the foundation of my dream experience.
It may not have been my first conscious dream, nightmare, and vision, but it was the most profound experience I have ever experienced and continues to affect today. It never goes away, it stays, it has to and should never go away, it is part of myself.
It is the start of everything. It's my worst nightmare vision.
The day before Christmas on my 14th birthday, I had a vision it was short but real. Just long enough to understand that this is very intensive and traumatic. I was sitting on my bed listening to music and my mother came into my bedroom. asked me if I wanted to go to the Christmas church service. To which I, as a real adolescent, gave my mother a short, bold answer.
No, really, I would rather dream away with music than singing Christmas songs in a church. My mother was surprised, because I had never turned down a Christmas church service. She walks out of my bedroom and slams the door a little too hard to show her dissatisfaction.
But the adolescent me was back in my music world for a long time ......... My thought shifts aside and deeper and deeper into nothingness. Suddenly my mother appears before me, she looks at me with wide eyes. In my vision, walk down the hall towards the stairs. Looks at me again and walks down the stairs, falls over and breaks her neck. Keeps staring at me with dead eyes as her whole body turns gray. I run down the stairs, touch my mother, and then I come back out of my vision.
My mother died on December 1, 1997. It is barely 12 months after my vision — I could never make up for the Christmas Church service again. I wanted to do that day over for years, I blamed myself for years. Ultimately you learn to live with it (I still have to cry and especially now that I write this blog), eventually this vision has become the first basis of my work ( business ).