I don't fill in my loneliness with friends, acquaintances and so on. Like many people with me, I am very lonely, even though I really have a social life. My mother died when I was 15; my father has remarried and has built a (new) life.
I have also been a happy single for years. I have 1 best friend and yet I am alone. My business has been a financial challenge for 10 years - that I have to make use of social support more than regularly. Or that I have several side jobs in addition to my company to make ends meet.
And yet I choose not to have many friends. Not because I'm not social; but because I just let the hole of loneliness be there. I don't fill it up with a lot of friendships. What I mean by this is that you can fill the loneliness gaps with friends who have this positive character trait - then you don't miss it. They kind of fill your void the reason I'm writing this post has to do with a client I spoke to recently.
Who told me very enthusiastically that she had many friends and a loving family. But that she was single. She was fortunate to have many friends who help her through this period. She did not suffer from loneliness at all. She spoke to all her frands daily, every single friend could help her with something.
Unless she was in bed and couldn't control her sleeplessness, she felt so alone. Whereupon I asked her how many of these friends are really very dear to you on a soul level .... It was silent for a moment she started counting; first it was 10 and then it became 5, no if I think carefully 3 ... I have 3 real deep soul friendships. It hit like a lightning bolt out of the blue. I fill up the lonely pieces, they have the character traits that I miss !. I am so alone and that makes me sleep so badly. "An empty bed can be very cold!"
With this message, I don't want to get you to scrutinize all friendships. I want to give you insight into the fact that loneliness can just be there.
"There is nothing wrong with these friendships, but be aware of the fact that ....." Be aware of why someone comes or is coming your way. You're not the only one. Loneliness has no age, situation or boundary. Loneliness is at the root of insomnia, depression, anxiety and sadness.
Of course, a friendship can solve a lot in this age of corona. But too many character trait friendships are in many cases not the solution to the sleep anxiety, insomnia and / or dream fears and similar problem.
But Marjan what then.
It may sound (un) nice but let the loneliness be there. Discuss it with your friends, share your story, share your fears, dreams, nightmares and your emotions. and / or seek help!