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Start » Blog Marjan » Not just yet

Not just yet

Published on 20 November 2020 at 07:00

Because I am hypersensitive, I have trouble keeping my energy level up. Not only keeping it up to standard, but also the influence from outside can affect me. I can literally get sick of an unhealthy energy (both that created by myself and that comes from the outside world).

I am very aware that I am in control of things myself, and that I really know how to deal with them over the years. I am grounded and I make sure to drain the negative right away. But really there are still times when it literally burns me out.



Those are the days when I prefer to go to bed, sleeping until late in the morning. Hoping that things will get better tomorrow. Just gone because my own ego makes a big drama out of it - I make it much heavier and bigger, as it were, if it actually is.



There is of course an example behind it, otherwise I wouldn't write this in a blog. I'm organizing the amazing Sleeping Beauty Challenge (feel free to register). The launch went as planned, with the first few registrations coming in. I was quite proud of myself because there were already 5 subscribers and that in a few hours.



My best friend calls me, with great fun encouragement! Then came the question how many subscribers do you already have. So I answer 5 to which she could not hide her reaction - I am disappointed. Inwardly something starts to gnaw me. She's right after everything I've done and yes there goes my ego !. No longer in the now, no longer in the positive energy - but infused with negative energy in a few seconds. 


The lesson I learned years ago: Is that you have to go back to that moment. Acknowledge it, accept it, and then stop wondering how to deal with it. You can't solve it, leave it there, let it be.



Often these are things, (performance anxiety) experiences that you have been doing all your life. Your past lives or family karma and / or which you unconsciously let predominate from a trauma memory over and over again.

I also learned that you can let the pain, emotions, the negative be there in the form of being equally pathetic; lovingly embracing yourself. Give yourself a big hug. That excessive doing your best to feel good, to be positive is counterproductive and really take it from me, people really feel when you are not feeling well.



Be quiet, listen to the emptiness and relax, but unfortunately I couldn't do that for the past few days! "Not yet", maybe tomorrow.


Don't worry the positive energy is flowing again, and the pitfall is one that I and many people with me can probably do 100 more times.


Do you ever suffer from your ego that reacts in a kind of negative way, do you want to talk about it? ..

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